Monday, April 11, 2011

Four Out of Four Bud Drinkers Agree

This is how the conversation went, when it was discovered that jalapeños in your beer transform a bitter old Budweiser into a fresher fermentation with an adult treat at the bottom.  You can doubt me if you dare…


Cut to a crowded basketball arena. Chicago Bulls and Phoenix Suns play in the background amongst drunken CHEERING and nonsensical SHOUTING.

JAMES, BURKE, KWAS, and SHEL sit in the stands each with a respective beer in their hands, staring ahead intently.  BURKE sits in the middle of the group with a tray of nachos that take up her entire lap.  She struggles to juggle her beer while dipping a chip in the nacho cheese and adorning it with a jalapeño at the same time.

We see the pain in her eyes as she ingests another jalapeño, barely making a dent in the mound of pickled deliciousness that lay atop her nachos.
She turns, speaking to no one in particular.

BURKE (mildly defeated)
There are way too many jalapeños on these nachos and I can't eat anymore.  I even had several without a chip and my mouth is on fire.

JAMES offers his beer to BURKE without hesitation.

JAMES (nonchalantly)
Just pop a couple in here.

KWAS sits between JAMES and BURKE looking quizzically side to side then obliges by dropping two peños into the nearly full beer.  She watches as they fizzle, one slowly slinks to the bottom.

JAMES sits back and without hesitation takes a couple sips and continues watching the action on the court.
Perplexed at his nonchalance, BURKE, KWAS and SHEL all stare at JAMES until KWAS' look of perplexity changes to one of submission.

Ok, let me try it.

She reaches for the cup and tentatively takes several sips before a look of shock and aww appears on her face.  She hands the beer back to JAMES and takes a sip of her original beer.

KWAS (turning quickly to JAMES and in frantic speech)
Try these back to back, I swear to God the peños made the beer so much smoother.

Double-fisting, JAMES sips from both beers and turns half way to KWAS.

JAMES (not surprised)
Indeed it did.

KWAS turns to BURKE and SHEL, grabs two jalapeños from the mound and drops them into her beer.  She hands it to BURKE.

You have to try this, this is incredible.

BURKE (sipping curiously)
Oh that is amazing.

Two more jalapeños are plunged into the Budweiser as it gets passed to SHEL for final approval.  She takes a quick sip.

SHEL (Exclaiming)
Peños for me please!

SHEL thrusts her cup over to BURKE.

With this, JAMES, BURKE, KWAS and SHEL all raise their glasses in a single CHEERS and drink their newly doctored drink.

NARRATOR: Thus, it was born, Peños in the Budweiser.  The night transformed these four individuals into jalapeño users for life and they will always look back on the night of the Bulls game and remember that sweet, smooth surprise that resulted from the mingling of an American classic and a pickled nacho topper.

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