Thursday, May 26, 2011

Holy Chip

Dear Jiminy Chips,

While I appreciate the deliciousness of your amazingly thin and funky flavored chips, I refuse to pay the exorbitant amount you charge for what is ultimately 19 slices of potato.  The size of the bag is highly deceiving and I was truly tricked when I discovered it to be only a 1/4 filled.  I mean, come on, $4.99?  For a bag that isn't going to survive the trip home from the store?  Are you outta your damn minds?

I am outraged!  I am discouraged and now I am hungry!  I implore you to rectify this situation before I lose both my mind and all the $$ in my pocketbook. 

Thank you for your time,


It is my anger towards "Big Potato" that has driven me to a manic state of homemade 'tato chip creation.  That, or I really wanted to deep fry something anything and was looking for a more convincing reason than its... Thursday.  Either way, I won because look at the potato chip bounty that resulted. 

This whole process was extremely easy to do (mainly because I had a very handy gentleman offer to dig the deep fryer out of the garage for me and slice most of the potatoes) and was significantly cheaper then store bought chips. 

WARNING:  All the chips that you are about to see cost a total of $1.56. 

I followed this easy recipe but would like to add some additional notes and findings.  
  • Our potatoes were soaked in both water and vinegar. 
  • While the larger slices were preferred with the Idaho potato (hereafter known as 'the regular potatoes'), the smaller slices were preferred with the sweet potato. 
  • We discovered that the dryer the chips are, the better. They crisped up nice and didn't stick together. We left them laying out, ucovered all night and that seemed to do the trick.
You can slice the potatoes by hand if you’ve got some time to kill but I would recommend getting one of these little ditties.  

(Don’t be alarmed at the prices in the link... we found this one at the Korean grocery store by our house for $20 and it works great. Those should just give you an idea.) It saves so much time and all of the slices come out in perfect little ovals!!

Once I pull the deep fryer out and load it up with the oil, I deep fry until my little heart is content because I don’t want to clean it up. So, if I figure, if I keep deep frying things, I’ll never have to actually wash anything. This resulted in me having potato chips for dinner one night (ahh I love being an adult – take that mom!) and coming up with some deliciously flavored chips and awesome dips. My chip guinea pig (aka: the idea man) sampled all the flavors/dip and ranked them in order of preference below.

Have you ever eaten a potato chip that made you forget you even had other food on your plate, because they were too delicious to stop eating? No? Well whip up these sweet and sour delights and you will have that very experience. Who needs a sandwich and pickle when you have chips like these staring right at you!

Wisconsin has given us things we love (Germans, cheese, beer) and things we hate (a stupid football team that wears a dumb green color, Brett Favre, angry teachers). Let me tell you though, when you put the best Wisconsin exports on a chip, you are teleported to holy cheese head heaven. Makes me forget the Packers even exist.

This creation was perfected by Sullivan’s Steakhouse and when paired with a martini, it will ease any stress-anxiety-bitterness you may have. Guaranteed or your money back. Well, I won’t actually send you money but you get the idea.

If you are dealing with a less than agreeable woman, then serve her one of these chocolate delights. A little sweet, a little salty… she’ll return to her pleasant disposition in no time.

The cleaning of the fryer and straining of the oil was less than ideal but now I have put on a solid 10 pounds due to the chip frenzy and my hands and luxuriously moisturized.

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